This is a guest post by Tisha Dotson. Thanks again for the post, Tisha!
During the summertime, I always gain weight. Always. It’s a cycle that I can’t break, no matter how hard I try to prepare myself during the month of May. But once Memorial Day hits, it seems like everyone — even adults — are in summer vacation mode. That means more weekday holidays, vacations, baseball games,
Sparkly vampires that don’t die in sunlight and fall in love with inarticulate teenage girls, zombies eating brains with grapefruit spoons and their pinkies out (or off?) with Elizabeth Bennett, hapless-yet-cunning teens battling to the death in a reality show that makes Jersey Shore look like The Christian Ladies Aid Society – these are the types of books that keep most people up at night. Me? I’ve been up for a week now reading the gripping tales of The Fat-Cholesterol Hypothesis and The Carbohydrate Hypothesis spun by Gary Taubes in his game-changing tome Good Calories Bad Calories. Kinda like the Bible and Moby Dick, lots of people will talk about this book but very few of them have actually read it.
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When our trainer said he was going to use the TRX to whip us into shape, I didn’t think he meant literally:
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“Jumpstart YOUR metabolism with a wheaties breakfast!” Eating cereal boosts your metabolism! It must be true – it’s right there on the box! PS> Where is their mother?! Read the rest of this entry »
Yes, I’ve used this picture twice on this site before but that is just how deeply I love this dude. I have titled it “Awesome Sauce.” I think he may be the patron saint of the GFE! Read the rest of this entry »
What does it say about me that I really want that dress? Except in green, please. They can keep the plastic barrettes though. Read the rest of this entry »
Oh this? Just a one-handed bar push up. No biggie. Couple more reps and you can go back to hanging by your knees. Pansies. Read the rest of this entry »
The best part is the guy on the right’s face. “Dude, the salesman told me they were out of the XL banana hammocks!!” I’m sure that’s what he’s thinking. Read the rest of this entry »
Metallica is performing live and center stage in mouth right now. And I’m not talking the stadium rocking from their glory days. No, my tongue tastes like the puke-covered floor under a mosh pit teeming with 200 sweaty dudes crammed into a third-tier club that hasn’t washed their floors since Slash last washed his hair. (Did I just conflate Metallica with Guns-n-Roses? My bad – I may have lived the ’80’s but it was in my Herself the Elf pajamas watching Rainbow Brite and eating Count Chocula.) All food that I’ve eaten over the past few days – including the delish Labor Day spread at Gym Buddy Megan’s house – has an aftertaste like I mopped the floor of the metal shop with my tongue.
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A mother’s love – they say that nothing is more powerful. (At least if you believe Harry Potter, which of course I do. I’m a sucker for green eyes.) So if this is true then I know the second most powerful force on the planet: A mother’s guilt.
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